All of this really starts with a pretty remarkable car, the first car to be sold commercially with a Wankel rotary engine. That car was the NSU Spider, sporting a lovely Bertone-designed body and built from 1964 to 1967.
The car was charming and innovative, and in the real world, represented the start of NSU’s decline before its ultimate demise. You see, costs from the development of the Wankel engine and significant costs related to warranty replacement of bad apex seals in the company’s second rotary-powered car, the lovely and iconic Ro-80, eventually did the company in financially. But the whole point of the Bishop is to explore what could have happened, not what did. So, let’s say in this alternate world, the rotary engine isn’t the albatross around NSU’s neck that it was in reality, but instead a glorious eagle around the neck, or some other bird that implies lifting up instead of weighing down. A heron? I don’t know (What do I look like, an ornithologist? I wish I looked as good as an ornithologist). Let’s also say that NSU continued with its association with Bertone to design cars: What might a 1970s Bertone-designed NSU Spider have been like? Bertone was doing some interesting, very 1970s-wedge type designs in this era, like their show car, the Trapeze:
The Bishop is a bit underwhelmed by the Trapeze, though: The Bishop also thinks that there could have been a place for a new NSU rotary sports car, since there was a sort of hole in VW/Audi/Porsche’s lineup around 1975, especially for something with an open roof:
Hence, we get the 1976 NSU Spyder Bertone:
Here’s what the Bishop tells us about this very ’70s little stallion:
Personally, I love the idea of a flip-over roof, and I can’t believe I’ve never seen it on a production car, at least none I can think of. You’d need a bunch of rubber stops on there to prevent glass-to-glass bouncing contact, but that’s very do-able. This feels like an easier solution than having to stow roof panels or T-tops.
I am sort of disappointed that even in this no-limits fantasy, The Bishop can’t bring himself to imagine how this could meet US bumper or emissions standards. What the hell, Bishop? Imagine harder! Imagine President Billy Carter eliminating all standards, for everything! Come on!
I think of this design fantasy, I’m most excited by what The Bishop dreamed up for the interior, though. I love a strong motherflapping theme design.
I have to say, I think that asymmetric seat design is one of my all-time favorite fictional car seats, and I’m including the seats in the 1966 DAF 44 Dutch Masters Edition, the only car ever to feature a cigar-box themed interior design, a fictional car I just made up right now. So you know I’m serious. The asymmetric seats face a dashboard with a big rotary shape dead center for all gauges and another rotary shape for the tach above the rotary wheel. A multi-angled center console for a variety of controls, including the standard VW Hostess Cupcake rear defogger switch and Sapphire XVII radio that doesn’t go off with the ignition switch that the kid would instantly recognize as being right out of the dash of their tourist-delivery US spec Type 4…I have no illusions of having to use parts bin items on the NSU. I think it also needs an 8 Track player mounted backwards in the console to play Kraftwerk and Maha Vishnu Orchestra.
In back, the rotary engine is so small that you have space behind the seats; I have even put little sideways facing King Cab jump seats on the side panels (really only one semi-grown person sideways would likely come close to fitting). Don’t worry…if that person or people back there need to smoke (it’s the 70s..they will) that rotary logo will rotate around to reveal an ashtray.” So, what do all of you think, sexy readers? Would this sporty little angular runabout have been what NSU needed to keep going? Would you have been able to sit on those rear jump seats? Would you have loved that Wankel rotary-triangle theme? Discuss. I’ll see myself out… That would make the whole project a nonstarter. The US was THE biggest market for the 914, X1/9 and just about every other mass-produced dedicated sports car. By the time it reached production it’d be based on the Golf powertrain (so, piston-engined) with 5 mph bumpers designed in. What a great concept, though! https://www.ferrari.com/en-EN/auto/superamerica Notes: YOU DON’T PAY THE BISHOP ENOUGH AND DEAR GODS WHY MUST YOU TEMPT ME SO WITH THIS GLORIOUS VISION?! Oh, and if it’s going to be a proper 70’s design, it needs at least 6 more ashtrays. Also, what’s up with the shifter? I see the pattern for the stick, but is that a push-button thing or what? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fsAMAIaas94 The Renault Wind (a Twingo-based convertible) had a flip-top roof: https://youtu.be/zUuFTb5myLk?t=55
